Your Tattoos Make You A Horrible Mother... Really?

Does your INK make you a bad parent? Are you unlikely to have a fantasy wedding with Ink? You have tattoos,  will your child get them too?

12 tattoos and counting, 10 years of raising a beautiful daughter, and I'm still a kick ass parent. Having tattoos as a female, people who don't have them or don't understand the art, can make you feel almost less of a woman/man/parent because of the tattoos. You have those that chose their tattoo position to strategically hide when they wed, but who says you'll get married? In my twenties, I don't see marriage in the near future (too many "I'm not ready" types), but whomever is lucky enough, he'll love the art too. Being a thespian and a student ambassador in undergrad, I mastered how to cover my art with makeup. Should I have to? No, but that was then. Now, if it doesn't put money in my pocket/feed my family, then the INK lives.

One famous parent, Mark Wahlberg in 2012 removed his tattoo of Bob Marley located on his shoulder, in hopes that he will deter his children. Let this be known, neither of my parents, grandparents, or uncles and aunts have tattoos. My oldest brother has one tat. I'm 1 of 5 and I'm the one with the most. Myself and my daughter's father are neck and neck with the number of tattoos. As a young child, Cailyn would take washable markers and say "look I have tattoos like daddy!". Now at 10 they amuse her as art but the pain she's aware of and isn't fond of what all it takes to get at tattoo.

"How many of our parents marriages lasted'. 

-Drake (Fireworks) 

Do you trust... again?

There is always a relationship  (friend, family, significant other) that makes you question your next move. Either they did or said something to put that wall up higher than The Great Wall of China. That person that has known you, can be the one to hurt you the hardest.   

Could giving someone another chance make you become a bigger idiot than them? Many feel trying to be the bigger person can make you mean because you never forget and you're always expecting that idiot to mess up again. 

Yes, one could say I'm contridicting myself when I say " let it go", but I'm sensitive when it comes to the heart. In the words of the late great Maya Angelou, "when someone shows you who they are believe  them, the first time". The heart is sensitive and the brain even more. You have 1 life to live and some people aren't worth being apart of it. Learn the lesson and carry on.

 When do you draw the line? Do you forgive and forget? Are you able to trust a person won't fuck up...again? Or is it instilled in their DNA and incapable of being a friend or loved one?

 "Tell me, how the fuck we supposed to stay friends
When you got a bunch of feelings that you don't show?" -Drake (Trust Issues)

Victoria's Pick Alert: New Online Store

Let's start off by thanking our sponsor today; My Grandma's Basement Resale, "Where the true treasures come from my Grandma's basement." Go check out their amazing site at My-Grandmas-Basement.shopify.com
From this great little online experience, I was able to my favorite product as Victoria's Pick. My Grandma's Basement is just starting up and ready for the spring. She has the cutest jewelry and even dishware. She customized this perfect drinking glass for me. Can't wait to drink responsibly in my Victoria glass.

Strong, educated, determined, and a mother...with no man

Baby momma. Mom. Mother. Mommy. These are all titles I wear well. Being a Mommy and dating can be difficult. You have the kind of men out here that  can either handle it or they are too weak. You know the man I'm talking about, the one that thinks you want him to be your child's father. The one that assumes it's going to be BD/BM (BABY DADDY/BABY MOMMA) drama.
It never fails, true my daughter is my life. I really only trust a handle full of males around her,  which none of them I've ever dated. I love that girl and never regret her. She made me the woman people love to know. Thank her when you see us out because I wouldn't have completed  half of what I have without her.
Being a mom isn't bad, she is my responsibility, and I have a strong support system. If the man I'm dating can't handle that, then I guess it will always be the two of us. If the man that I'm dating thinks he's too accomplished to be with a "baby momma", then I guess it will always be the two of us and OUR accomplishments .  If the guy I'm dating isn't able to comprehend that I make sacrifices for me and my daughter's wellbeing, then I guess its just the two of us. If the guy I'm dating can't accept the responsibility of just being a responsible male role model; not a dad, not step daddy, not a boyfriend, but responsible male... Then I'm happy with it being just me and my Princess... until she finds a man that will respect her... It's just the two of us. I'm a mom. I'm not looking for someone to sponsor us. I'm literally looking for a man that can be in our life without thinking he's better than me if he doesn't have kids or a man that if he has a kid or few, that he takes care of those kids.

RANT: Life

Realize you can't change shit. Thats a given, you can't change people, you can't change a decision you already made, you can't worry about shit. You just have to live. You hold on to shit and it makes you sick. It makes you worse. You become the person you can't be around and wonder why no one wants to be around you.
I've taken a minute off of writing to get a hold on things that I couldn't change. As if was a slave to giving up on what I love to ensure the satisfaction of others. So in my time off, I did the shit I love;I decided to live and do homework. It's only so much you can take of doing for others that don't value you. Sometimes it's healthy to shut out the negative and all the bad vibes, to surround yourself with total peace.

My advice to you is my daughter's favorite phase from the movie FROZEN, "Let it go!"

" You only live once, that's the motto, ni--a Yolo!"
-Drake The Motto

My LIGHT GIRL Experience

After completely watching Light Girls and Dark Girls, I've decided to share my experience. Listening to the women that shared similar stories as mine. "Mellow Yellow!" "White girl!" "Yella bitch!" "You not black!", "your momma or daddy white?" "You too light." "I like you because of your skin color." "You'll win because your light skin." "You dance white!" "You talk white!" Do you know I've heard it all. I was teased and hell, I'm still teased. I never knew how difficult it would be to tell this experience.

Dating while light skin:
In high school I was approached  by a guy who said he gave me a double take because I was  light. Now if you know me, I've been more involved with light skin men and not because I don't like other guys of different complexions. I've just been approached more by those guys. I've had white men tell me, "you're not black but you're cute for whatever you are." Let's not forget the white women that looked at me with these piercing looks because  I was in a club on Wash Ave and a white guy was talking to me and we exchanged numbers... I instantly felt like "that black girl". You're either not black enough or too black.
Recently, I sat down to grab a bite to eat and drink with a good friend that is a white male I've known for about 15 years. We laughed, we hugged, and we enjoyed ourselves. At this Mexican restaurant I was the only black person in there, but I didn't realize until later that I was the only "spook" in there. I assume I was mistaken for being Hispanic because one of the waiters came up and told him I was "trouble". My friend and I continued our conversation about how interracial couples are starred at in all environments, the priveledge versus nonpriveledge, and how complexions are what separate Black Americans. I told him later I felt like the more we talked and laughed we were being observed. No one knew we were friends that haven't seen one another in a very long time and always enjoyed being around one another.

Little Victoria (approx. age 7)

Growing up light skin:
My family has all skin tones, my beautiful family is black. We're made up of different ethnic backgrounds, but our birthcertificates say African-American. Growing up my grandfather looked white, he was biracial. His mother Black and father white, he was raised by the orphanage Boystown. His blue eyes and foul language, people assumed he was Italian. My mother can tell you growing up black, with a daddy that appeared white was probably  even more difficult. She said, "I'd  duck down in the car or have my dad drop me off further away from the school, so the kids wouldn't tease me about  having a white dad".  Black kids can be vicious, I remember  biracial twins Sam and Mike from preschool would tease me and harass me to admit I was mixed. They would refuse to believe my dad was black and from East Saint Louis and my mom was black and from Little Rock, Arkansas.
Growing up I've heard it all. I even think I listen to more hip hop to compensate for not being black enough. I honestly love all genres but unconsciously knowing, I listen to music that I think everyone else listens to ...while being Black.

My daughter is also very light and she has the same name as her cousin but it is spelled differently. These two are different complextions and when they were younger the kids would call them the Black one and the white one. Luckily another kid stepped in and changed that, now they are used their initials to identify the one they want.

Being light skin:
It's one of those things, I appreciate. I can't change it. I don't think I'm better than anyone. It's obvious that others pay attention to the color of their skin. Being Black is already difficult without other Blacks comparing ourselves to one another. I'm still Black and this Black is beautiful. My birthcertificate doesn't say, "yella", "redbone", or "highlighter". No matter who I date, I'm Black. Even if it's a "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" moment or step in the room with my beautiful family members Jackie, Natalie, Bonita or Carmen; I'm going to be the butt of someone's joke. It never fails, but like I said, "I'm still Black and this Black is beautiful.

Nobody understood what it was like to be black and Jewish… being different from everyone else just made me a lot stronger.” – Drake

Whitney

To begin, Bobby looked like Bobby. Yes, Yaya was on point as Whitney. But if it really started like that, good girl/bad boy fever... I find it hard to believe. Now don't get me wrong, Bobby as and asshole I believe. Thank you, Deborah Cox on vocals. Yes! Love that! Needed a voice close enough to believe. They also had enough sex in this movie to take those scenes out to make the Bobby and Whitney Sextape. Yes, if technology was like it is now. They would  have crushed Kim and Ray J!
The fact they didn't make Bobby the reason why she was on drugs, made it as if the story is really being told. So, many times I looked and thought it was the late and great Whitney Houston in several scenes. This was a spin though, Bobby not into drugs?? Hard to believe... then again.
**Oh! And Hilarious! Eddie Murphy wasn't interested in Whitney. Think about it.**
Bobby and Whitney having epic sex? Believable, had to be great sex for her to say he was the King of R&B! Really?
Damn, Whitney as a mack and Bobby feeling like the woman... hmm new twist. It's again, believable. Just because of how hard they went and  once they took it to that next level. She loved hard, I could see that being her biggest fear. Whitney definitely seemed like the "if I'm loving you, we're going to stay in love" type. A lot like me, Whitney wasn't down with being embarrassed or the embarrassment. To add to the story that wasn't mentioned, was Bobby her rebound from her previous relationship she had with the then football star Randall Cunningham?**Sparkle being her favorite movie and she ironically played the mother on the new version of the remake. Deep**
Now, Bobby being a player? Believable. Seeing Bobby as a good guy versus how the media portrayed him in that time, it's believable. Cissy in an interview with Oprah admitted to Whitney being exposed to drugs before Bobby. Whitney's brother confessed to being her dealer. Bobby got involved in his mess, but much like Whitney there is always a source the time problem.
Clive as the puppeteer... I believe. He hit an insecurity in Bobby. It made him the title of Mr.Whitney Houston, his ego couldn't handle. Love in that type of industry can be difficult. At a point a man has to be the assistant, to a situation  he entered as her equal. Yes, I believe  that's the point where any relationship takes it downhill for the worse.
**Now, no I've never done cocaine and I won't but if she was able to function like that until that one time we all remember and she couldn't hit that note?...  not half bad.**
After watching the entire movie, the full circle was made. These two needed help and it seems like Whitney was willing to admit her wrongs. Again, being accountable and being an embarassment wasnt her thing, based off her relationship with her mother Cissy.
The entire story of their (Whitney and Bobby) destruction and Whitney's self-destruction that led to her own demise. I personally didn't need to see the Whitney I saw glempses of in tabloids of her and Bobby at their worst. This showed me, honestly my all time favorite singer as a human. She was placed on such a pedistal, we as her fans couldn't believe anything was wrong with her. She's Whitney  and she fell in love. "Sometimes you love someone so hard, you don't realize you're  loving them wrong" -Bobby Brown. Much like Chris Brown, sometimes the one you love isn't the best for you. Sometimes that love can be what hurts you the most.