My LIGHT GIRL Experience

After completely watching Light Girls and Dark Girls, I've decided to share my experience. Listening to the women that shared similar stories as mine. "Mellow Yellow!" "White girl!" "Yella bitch!" "You not black!", "your momma or daddy white?" "You too light." "I like you because of your skin color." "You'll win because your light skin." "You dance white!" "You talk white!" Do you know I've heard it all. I was teased and hell, I'm still teased. I never knew how difficult it would be to tell this experience.

Dating while light skin:
In high school I was approached  by a guy who said he gave me a double take because I was  light. Now if you know me, I've been more involved with light skin men and not because I don't like other guys of different complexions. I've just been approached more by those guys. I've had white men tell me, "you're not black but you're cute for whatever you are." Let's not forget the white women that looked at me with these piercing looks because  I was in a club on Wash Ave and a white guy was talking to me and we exchanged numbers... I instantly felt like "that black girl". You're either not black enough or too black.
Recently, I sat down to grab a bite to eat and drink with a good friend that is a white male I've known for about 15 years. We laughed, we hugged, and we enjoyed ourselves. At this Mexican restaurant I was the only black person in there, but I didn't realize until later that I was the only "spook" in there. I assume I was mistaken for being Hispanic because one of the waiters came up and told him I was "trouble". My friend and I continued our conversation about how interracial couples are starred at in all environments, the priveledge versus nonpriveledge, and how complexions are what separate Black Americans. I told him later I felt like the more we talked and laughed we were being observed. No one knew we were friends that haven't seen one another in a very long time and always enjoyed being around one another.

Little Victoria (approx. age 7)

Growing up light skin:
My family has all skin tones, my beautiful family is black. We're made up of different ethnic backgrounds, but our birthcertificates say African-American. Growing up my grandfather looked white, he was biracial. His mother Black and father white, he was raised by the orphanage Boystown. His blue eyes and foul language, people assumed he was Italian. My mother can tell you growing up black, with a daddy that appeared white was probably  even more difficult. She said, "I'd  duck down in the car or have my dad drop me off further away from the school, so the kids wouldn't tease me about  having a white dad".  Black kids can be vicious, I remember  biracial twins Sam and Mike from preschool would tease me and harass me to admit I was mixed. They would refuse to believe my dad was black and from East Saint Louis and my mom was black and from Little Rock, Arkansas.
Growing up I've heard it all. I even think I listen to more hip hop to compensate for not being black enough. I honestly love all genres but unconsciously knowing, I listen to music that I think everyone else listens to ...while being Black.

My daughter is also very light and she has the same name as her cousin but it is spelled differently. These two are different complextions and when they were younger the kids would call them the Black one and the white one. Luckily another kid stepped in and changed that, now they are used their initials to identify the one they want.

Being light skin:
It's one of those things, I appreciate. I can't change it. I don't think I'm better than anyone. It's obvious that others pay attention to the color of their skin. Being Black is already difficult without other Blacks comparing ourselves to one another. I'm still Black and this Black is beautiful. My birthcertificate doesn't say, "yella", "redbone", or "highlighter". No matter who I date, I'm Black. Even if it's a "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" moment or step in the room with my beautiful family members Jackie, Natalie, Bonita or Carmen; I'm going to be the butt of someone's joke. It never fails, but like I said, "I'm still Black and this Black is beautiful.

Nobody understood what it was like to be black and Jewish… being different from everyone else just made me a lot stronger.” – Drake

Whitney

To begin, Bobby looked like Bobby. Yes, Yaya was on point as Whitney. But if it really started like that, good girl/bad boy fever... I find it hard to believe. Now don't get me wrong, Bobby as and asshole I believe. Thank you, Deborah Cox on vocals. Yes! Love that! Needed a voice close enough to believe. They also had enough sex in this movie to take those scenes out to make the Bobby and Whitney Sextape. Yes, if technology was like it is now. They would  have crushed Kim and Ray J!
The fact they didn't make Bobby the reason why she was on drugs, made it as if the story is really being told. So, many times I looked and thought it was the late and great Whitney Houston in several scenes. This was a spin though, Bobby not into drugs?? Hard to believe... then again.
**Oh! And Hilarious! Eddie Murphy wasn't interested in Whitney. Think about it.**
Bobby and Whitney having epic sex? Believable, had to be great sex for her to say he was the King of R&B! Really?
Damn, Whitney as a mack and Bobby feeling like the woman... hmm new twist. It's again, believable. Just because of how hard they went and  once they took it to that next level. She loved hard, I could see that being her biggest fear. Whitney definitely seemed like the "if I'm loving you, we're going to stay in love" type. A lot like me, Whitney wasn't down with being embarrassed or the embarrassment. To add to the story that wasn't mentioned, was Bobby her rebound from her previous relationship she had with the then football star Randall Cunningham?**Sparkle being her favorite movie and she ironically played the mother on the new version of the remake. Deep**
Now, Bobby being a player? Believable. Seeing Bobby as a good guy versus how the media portrayed him in that time, it's believable. Cissy in an interview with Oprah admitted to Whitney being exposed to drugs before Bobby. Whitney's brother confessed to being her dealer. Bobby got involved in his mess, but much like Whitney there is always a source the time problem.
Clive as the puppeteer... I believe. He hit an insecurity in Bobby. It made him the title of Mr.Whitney Houston, his ego couldn't handle. Love in that type of industry can be difficult. At a point a man has to be the assistant, to a situation  he entered as her equal. Yes, I believe  that's the point where any relationship takes it downhill for the worse.
**Now, no I've never done cocaine and I won't but if she was able to function like that until that one time we all remember and she couldn't hit that note?...  not half bad.**
After watching the entire movie, the full circle was made. These two needed help and it seems like Whitney was willing to admit her wrongs. Again, being accountable and being an embarassment wasnt her thing, based off her relationship with her mother Cissy.
The entire story of their (Whitney and Bobby) destruction and Whitney's self-destruction that led to her own demise. I personally didn't need to see the Whitney I saw glempses of in tabloids of her and Bobby at their worst. This showed me, honestly my all time favorite singer as a human. She was placed on such a pedistal, we as her fans couldn't believe anything was wrong with her. She's Whitney  and she fell in love. "Sometimes you love someone so hard, you don't realize you're  loving them wrong" -Bobby Brown. Much like Chris Brown, sometimes the one you love isn't the best for you. Sometimes that love can be what hurts you the most.

Sleeping Beauty getting coffee with Bill Cosby

Art Streiber/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Image

I've shared my opinion about Bill Cosby and he's old, but really? Sunday, January 11th; Amy Poehler and Tina Fey hosted the 70th Annual Golden Globes...Again.

Amy and Tina are talk about several movies and actors. The continue to talk about Into The Woods and Amy says, "Cinderella looses a glass slipper... and Sleeping Beauty thought she was having coffee with Bill Cosby". Now, would a joke regarding 7th Heaven Dad, Stephan Collins on his admitted child molestation been that funny? I guess both are crimes, but it's easier to laugh at someone that got women over the age of 18. Is it that Bill Cosby was funny because the crime was developed from 30 year old allegations of women that came for Bill Cosby right as he was making moves to have television bringing back Black Americans back and better than what's being shown today.
Don't get me wrong, I like Tina and Amy, but I feel like the writers of the Golden Globes were trying to get ratings for a show that I only look at the celebrities the day after to whose stylist loved or hated them. The show is more like prom, you get dolled and socialize to be seen. Honestly anyone that is familiar with the show, you'd know that it's mainly a political game on the shows awarded.
Let's think, GoldenGlobes only gave Selma 1 award and they were without a doubt snubbed in major categories. I know half of those movies that won that night, I've never seen. Like every year, the movies I'm rooting for due to their great performances and my love for the talented actors that grace the screen and inspire many like myself... Never win. If they do, their a gangster or slut; either way The Oscars and Golden Globes have proven time and time again what they think about black faces on the big screen deserve.

"Everybody talks and everybody listen/But somehow the truth just always comes up missing."
-Drake (Say What's Real)

Living Single 2015

It was cool "Living Single" when it was a 90s kind of world but I was a kid then too. As a twenty something young female you question yourself, what am I doing wrong? Why am I single? Every week looking on Instagram and there's a post saying something like, "If she's pretty and single, she's crazy". Then you question yourself, "am I?". Is it that I'm possibly crazy and drive dudes away? Am I to pushy? Is it because my ass doesn't look like Nicki? Do I have too many rules? Do I not have enough rules? Am I expressing too much? Is it because I don't have the perfect body?
Then hopefully you laugh at yourself and say "No, I'm damn near perfect", because you are. If anything, if a guy can't see that you're independent, but you know when to let a man be a man if he shows he's capable, then honey you're damn near perfect. I can't tell you how many " I hate I didn't do you right" text that I receive. It's like guys have an epiphany, deal with a chick that doesn't do half of what you did for him, or  just flat out realizes he did you dirty and wants forgiveness. Is it fair to you to doubt who you are? If he can't take you at your Regine, Max, Khadijah, and or Sinclair (No Overton), then maybe he's not the one you end the up with in the series finale.
Guys, are constantly making post like, "The best pu**y, is loyal pu**y", but their penis is more involved in the community than the Mayor. That is the moment, women see double standards are what block relationships. When a woman decides to invest in her own Trojans and feel no attachment much like Maxine Shaw, she is labeled a hoe, a bitch, a slut anything other than the strong minded woman she chose to be. She can't allow a man to not show commitment when she does and remain ok in the situation because it isn't a relationship, it's self-destruction.
For the full cast of Living Single, kind of woman, meaning a young lady that can hold down the household, get her needs satisfied, and enter a room to effortlessly get all the attention; a man can't handle. Seems like the more a woman proves she can be warm by herself, the opposite sex find it hard to control. I personally have dealt with an individual that adored my qualifications as a woman but didn't want me to have the mentality to match. He made it apart of his everyday life to place me on a pedestal that only he could congratulate me on but knock me off  too. He created my dependency on him. I believe it's one reasons I'm single, I don't really think I'm as beautiful as I've been told. Honestly, I look in the mirror and try to convince myself  the confidence I portray to those looking at me. I told myself I'd express that detail more, in hopes that I'd force myself out of that thought process.
As you continue your ongoing episode of Living Single I hope you figure out your strengths and weaknesses; note them. Some say find God, but depending on your beliefs I just say find the God within and know there is a higher power. Then you can proceed to walk that walk. Know you're damn  near perfect and that girl all the guys make googly eyes over, just think she was once an ugly duckling that spent all her money on that body, hair, and nails and she was born a boy (😂 even if she wasn't a boy, it still makes you laugh).

"You ain't the only one that's try a be the only one."
-Drake (We'll Be Fine)

Empire VS black•ish; Thanks to their networks

As we enter 2015, the faces of Black Americans on TV are faced with another dilemma. Thanks to FOX  and ABC, that air 2 shows. These shows deliver Black Americans in power and delivering 2 different messages of the black culture but we are having to choose seeing that that ar aired at the same time. Why?          
We have on the Fox network, Empire;  which premiered January  2015. The premiere gave you drama at rapid speed. Jail, drug money, and foul language all in one. Once upon a time lovers Lucios and Cookie; played by Terrance Howard and Taraji P. Henson. Entering the room with a fierce attitude, Cookie enters for the   takeover of what she's owed from the record company that was built from the drug money that caused her to serve 17 years in jail.
In only a few words, she can slash you effortlessly with her tongue. The episode continues with showing a divide in their family as Lucios has moved on while Cookie reside in jail after taking the heat for him. Their son's  Andre (dating a white girl) , Jamal (homosexual), and Hakeem (lost).
Then we switch to ABC where the show Blackish is on and originally  premiered September 2014. Blackish is showing you a strong black family, man and wife played by Anthony Anderson and Tracee Ellis Ross. Their characters Dre and Rainbow are raising a beautiful  family of 4 kids; Zoey, Dre Jr., and twins Jack and Diane. Now for those that have never seen Blackish. Dre and Rainbow have great careers and a solid household in the suburbs that face contentious battles of trying to raise their black family in the burbs.
As you see Empire and Blackish, 2 black families of different  backgrounds, but they compete for our views. Why is that FOX and ABC? Two shows that could change the view of Black Americans on television. We have to compete for good tv, why? Too much power for the African Americans on tv?
I want these shows both to succeed. Afterall it's refreshing to see black women posed as other than Housewives that are BARELY housewives and Love and Hip Hop of BARELY known artist that are never in love and Sorority  Sisters that BARELY do work in their organization. **I'M BLIND  THOUGH**
I truly hate that we have to be put in a position  to chase our faces on television, especially when we haven't seen good television since Martin, Living Single, A Different World, Fresh Prince, and    Hanging  With Mr. Cooper, and The Cosby show (Yes, regardless).