After completely watching Light Girls and Dark Girls, I've decided to share my experience. Listening to the women that shared similar stories as mine. "Mellow Yellow!" "White girl!" "Yella bitch!" "You not black!", "your momma or daddy white?" "You too light." "I like you because of your skin color." "You'll win because your light skin." "You dance white!" "You talk white!" Do you know I've heard it all. I was teased and hell, I'm still teased. I never knew how difficult it would be to tell this experience.
Dating while light skin:
In high school I was approached by a guy who said he gave me a double take because I was light. Now if you know me, I've been more involved with light skin men and not because I don't like other guys of different complexions. I've just been approached more by those guys. I've had white men tell me, "you're not black but you're cute for whatever you are." Let's not forget the white women that looked at me with these piercing looks because I was in a club on Wash Ave and a white guy was talking to me and we exchanged numbers... I instantly felt like "that black girl". You're either not black enough or too black.
Recently, I sat down to grab a bite to eat and drink with a good friend that is a white male I've known for about 15 years. We laughed, we hugged, and we enjoyed ourselves. At this Mexican restaurant I was the only black person in there, but I didn't realize until later that I was the only "spook" in there. I assume I was mistaken for being Hispanic because one of the waiters came up and told him I was "trouble". My friend and I continued our conversation about how interracial couples are starred at in all environments, the priveledge versus nonpriveledge, and how complexions are what separate Black Americans. I told him later I felt like the more we talked and laughed we were being observed. No one knew we were friends that haven't seen one another in a very long time and always enjoyed being around one another.
In high school I was approached by a guy who said he gave me a double take because I was light. Now if you know me, I've been more involved with light skin men and not because I don't like other guys of different complexions. I've just been approached more by those guys. I've had white men tell me, "you're not black but you're cute for whatever you are." Let's not forget the white women that looked at me with these piercing looks because I was in a club on Wash Ave and a white guy was talking to me and we exchanged numbers... I instantly felt like "that black girl". You're either not black enough or too black.
Recently, I sat down to grab a bite to eat and drink with a good friend that is a white male I've known for about 15 years. We laughed, we hugged, and we enjoyed ourselves. At this Mexican restaurant I was the only black person in there, but I didn't realize until later that I was the only "spook" in there. I assume I was mistaken for being Hispanic because one of the waiters came up and told him I was "trouble". My friend and I continued our conversation about how interracial couples are starred at in all environments, the priveledge versus nonpriveledge, and how complexions are what separate Black Americans. I told him later I felt like the more we talked and laughed we were being observed. No one knew we were friends that haven't seen one another in a very long time and always enjoyed being around one another.
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| Little Victoria (approx. age 7) |
My family has all skin tones, my beautiful family is black. We're made up of different ethnic backgrounds, but our birthcertificates say African-American. Growing up my grandfather looked white, he was biracial. His mother Black and father white, he was raised by the orphanage Boystown. His blue eyes and foul language, people assumed he was Italian. My mother can tell you growing up black, with a daddy that appeared white was probably even more difficult. She said, "I'd duck down in the car or have my dad drop me off further away from the school, so the kids wouldn't tease me about having a white dad". Black kids can be vicious, I remember biracial twins Sam and Mike from preschool would tease me and harass me to admit I was mixed. They would refuse to believe my dad was black and from East Saint Louis and my mom was black and from Little Rock, Arkansas.
Growing up I've heard it all. I even think I listen to more hip hop to compensate for not being black enough. I honestly love all genres but unconsciously knowing, I listen to music that I think everyone else listens to ...while being Black.
My daughter is also very light and she has the same name as her cousin but it is spelled differently. These two are different complextions and when they were younger the kids would call them the Black one and the white one. Luckily another kid stepped in and changed that, now they are used their initials to identify the one they want.
Being light skin:
It's one of those things, I appreciate. I can't change it. I don't think I'm better than anyone. It's obvious that others pay attention to the color of their skin. Being Black is already difficult without other Blacks comparing ourselves to one another. I'm still Black and this Black is beautiful. My birthcertificate doesn't say, "yella", "redbone", or "highlighter". No matter who I date, I'm Black. Even if it's a "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" moment or step in the room with my beautiful family members Jackie, Natalie, Bonita or Carmen; I'm going to be the butt of someone's joke. It never fails, but like I said, "I'm still Black and this Black is beautiful.
It's one of those things, I appreciate. I can't change it. I don't think I'm better than anyone. It's obvious that others pay attention to the color of their skin. Being Black is already difficult without other Blacks comparing ourselves to one another. I'm still Black and this Black is beautiful. My birthcertificate doesn't say, "yella", "redbone", or "highlighter". No matter who I date, I'm Black. Even if it's a "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" moment or step in the room with my beautiful family members Jackie, Natalie, Bonita or Carmen; I'm going to be the butt of someone's joke. It never fails, but like I said, "I'm still Black and this Black is beautiful.
Nobody understood what it was like to be black and Jewish… being different from everyone else just made me a lot stronger.” – Drake
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